A RECIPE FOR A HAPPY BIRTHDAY

So, today I hit the big 39.  I don't feel any different than I did yesterday.  Nothing has changed.  I'm still the me I was yesterday.

This is the first birthday, I will be celebrating my birthday without my mom.  It seems so hard to believe that last year at this time, she was still with us.  I wasn't able to spend my special day with her, she was sick and in the hospital in Durham.  While I was here sick with a Crohns flare.  I guess God was trying to prepare me that she wouldn't be here with me this year. No matter how hard He tried, I still wasn't prepared for losing my Momma.

Instead of crying and wallowing in my self-pity, I hung out with an old friend who has become a new friend.  Talked on the phone and played on Facebook for awhile.  So far, it has been a good day for me (it's not over yet).  Yet, I feel guilty for feeling the tiniest bit happy.  I know it makes no sense to me either.  It's what she would want me to do.  I know that, but something is still missing from my life.  The love of my Momma.

Every year for my birthday, she would get me the usual present of something I had said I wanted.  But she always made  the day a little more special by making fudge.  I believe I may have written about her tradition in a previous blog.  I had aid I was going to make myself a pan in honor of Momma, but time has slipped up on me today.  But I thought I would share it with everyone.  Trust me, when I say, it is delicious, and will melt in your mouth.  Which for me, anything chocolate will melt in my mouth, as some of you may already know that little fact about me.

Here is the recipe:

3 small bags of chocolate chips
2 sticks of butter
4 1/2 cups of sugar
1 can of evaporated milk

Put chips and butter in a bowl and set aside.

Mix milk and sugar in a pot.  Cook on medium heat, constantly stirring and bring to a boil.  When it starts to boil cook for 8 minutes, constantly stirring.  Then pur mixture over the chips and butter and then mix all together in bowl.  Pour into a buttere dish (9x13).  Let cool.  (may want to refrigerate so it can be cut.) Keep refrigerated.

Tomorrow, since we are suppose to get some rain/snow I think I will make a pan and curl up with a good book or two.

Hope you enjoy the recipe.