NEW HERE

Hello to the blogger world. I am new here. And hoping this will be fun and interesting. We shall see what this holds in store for me. I will blog about my life and post pictures of said life. I can't wait to get started. Sometimes, my life can be very complicated (whose isn't this day and time?) and sometimes my life seems pretty boring. Since I am in my late 30's and still single and have no kids, what is there to really talk about? But I am going to try anyway.

Not having kids was not my choice. Ever since I was a little girl (many years ago) and played house with my dolls, I always wanted children. I dreamed of what they would be like and what kind of mother I would be. Would I be over-protective and over-bearing and contolling like my own mother? Or would I be a mother who let her child fly? Being totally different than my own mother. I don't know.

See, in June of 2000 my life turned completely upside down. I was diagnosed with Crohns Disease (CD). I was still in my 20's and thought I was invincible. That nothing oculd happen to me. People my age didn't get sick. Damn, I was really naive. But I did. At first, the doctors tole me that yes, I would still be able to have children. I accepted that and although I had a difficult time accepting my diagnosis, I always said I would have time before I settled down.

Crohns is an auto-immune disease of the intestinal tract. It can occur anywhere from the mouth to the anus. It causes severe diarrhea, cramps, joint pains, and fevers. Just to name a few. If you want to learn more about the disease go to www.ccfa.org. They have the best info on the web.

It wasn't until 2003, I was told by both my GI (my hero) and my GYN that it would be in my best interest not to have children. I was crushed. My dream died that spring day. My heart still aches from time to time because it will never feel a life grow under it. After grieveing and crying and blaming God for what had happened to me, I accepted the fact I would be childless forever. Most of the time, I am okay with the fact I will never have kids of my own. I have friends who have kids and I can spoil them rotten and send them back to their parents.

I have been through just about all of the treatments for CD that are out there. So far, I have been lucky and have not had to have surgery.

Somedays I will write about the Crohns and the Lupus. Other days, I will write about nothing in particular. Just whatever pops into my head. Sort of like this post. I didn't plan on writing about my childless status. It just sort of happened. I am a fly by the seat of my pants type of woman most of the time. I am just a simple girl.

Until next time.....